Do you celebrate a loved ones anniversary?
A controversial subject I realise and to be fair, in the first few years of my brothers passing I was too much in grief to actually get out of my bed and face the thought that this day was a reminder of his life and death or a birthday perhaps. But over the years and with meeting so many people, I look at things differently and have seen some wonderful ways to celebrate their life and their memory. During readings, I have also learned of things that your loved ones in spirit have witnessed that their loved ones have done for them and to say they are delighted is putting it mildly.
It is so important to honour them and their special days are the perfect way to show them this. I find often the thought that we can put into making this day special is also cathartic and healing for our hearts.
In Louise Hay’s book “YOU CAN HEAL YOUR HEART” she writes, “The person you were has forever changed. A part of the old you died with your loved one, but a part of your loved one lives on in the new you. This can be a holy transition instead of a lose- lose frame of mind”.
After the first year, I think we are still very heavy into the grieving process. Some of us will carry around anger perhaps at ourselves, in the world and in God but these feelings DO become weaker over the years and it is in these years that we will find a new feeling and it’s that very feeling that will help you make their days special. I genuinely do not feel that we heal after our losses, but in time we adapt to our new life and how to live it with a different perspective. They are with us for sure but not in the same way. We need to find a whole new way to communicate with them and for them with us.
Below are some ways to celebrate these special days:
1. Make a memory tree. I have one for my mum and we often buy special hearts and things to hang on it for her special days.
2. Plant a tree or flower in a garden. You can plant a large tree and hang things on it for the special days, decorate it for Christmas and add lights to it if you wish. Maybe plant a special flower in the garden and watch it grow . Did your loved one have a particular flower that they liked? My mums special tree
3. Make a memorial garden. This doesn’t have to be a massive job for a garden company but it can be just a small area of your garden already. There are loads of Angel plaques and stones that you can place outside and some of them even light up in the dark and are actually solar powered!
4. Let off balloons. This is one of my favourites and we do this for mum every year on her birthday. The kids usually decorate their own to fly to heaven.
5. Make a special photo frame, perhaps collect all of the angel feathers they have sent you throughout the year and you can stick them around the frame! I started this at the beginning of this year and it is very much a work in progress but you can see how it’s forming!! Every feather has been found and sent from heaven!!
6. We love painting rocks and stones and although some of us may be more arty than others it really is cheap and cheerful and a great way to remember your special loved one on their unique day. You could paint a rock for each person and add one each year!
7. Keep a journal. During one of my readings, a mum came through to her distraught daughter. She was telling me about ‘the writing’ and was getting so excited about it. The daughter then withdrew from her bag the most beautiful journal I have ever seen. It was her way of talking to mum. On both good days and bad days she wrote to her mum and posted photos in it of current things happening in their life. Mum had seen this and loved it!
