TAKING A GUILT TRIP
This is a subject matter I keep coming across time after time and day after day within both my live sessions and my private reading sessions. Is it necessary however to keep going on the same trip over and over . Do we ever learn from it or do we merely keep punishing ourselves for things that sadly so often where very much out with our control?
I’m a believer that we do our best with the cards that we have been dealt in life and that given the circumstances perhaps we expect far to much from ourselves and so therefore keep going on the same trip…..often leading to the same place of anger and emotion and tears and sadness and the ifs and buts and if only scenarios that repeatedly play out in our minds. What is the point ? Does it serve a purpose to our energy or moreover to our life or the life of someone else , particularly if this person has passed ? What happened in the past can not be brought back or altered , it can be learned from and perhaps stop us from repeating history should the need ever arise but there are some things , plain and simple that truly do not deserve the guilt trip you allow yourself to take because of it .
Last week at one of our VIP sessions at the end of our event a lady asked if her sister was upset and angry with her because she let her down in the end . It transpired that she had promised her sister that she would not allow her to pass in hospital but would get her home and have her in her own bed when the time should arise. You would be surprised how many times I actually hear this same question but switch different family members perhaps. In the last days of a person’s life we would promise them the world to make them feel better….but in reality after they cross over they realise that what they were asking was actually impossible to execute for all sorts of reasons. This lady could not be moved at this time as she was far too poorly to make the journey home and needed the car that only the hospital could administer to her for health reasons. This was never taken into consideration when this lady went on her “guilt trip”. She merely poached her bag full of ‘ if only and regret and i wished I could have “. It was literally consuming her and to a larger degree actually stopping her from grieving . The guilt over-rode the Grief , and that is not healthy . Her sister came through and relayed this to her and the sheer relief on this lady’s face was just perfection. Many years she had carried this burden for no reason at all.
In another instance a daughter was unable to make it to the hospital in time to see her dad pass….this haunted her and she went on her ‘Guilt Trip” several times a day because of it. Her dad would never want that for her and actually came through to say that he had chosen to pass over when she was not there to help ease the trauma for her….again something she had not taken into account when packing her bag of guilty thoughts. He had actually done this to save her tears…..instead what she had done was go over and over that last hour with regret and anger and a feeling that she had let her daddy down…..now with that removed she was able to move forward and perhaps understand something she had no knowledge of to begin with.
When we go on these trips are we so consumed with the guilt that we fail to see any alternative thoughts ? I think so , yes , for sure.
I too have been on my fair share of such trips , none of them pretty ! Over the suicide of my brother I was totally consumed with guilt. It ate me up for years and I was always the one to blame for his choice , in my own mind. I should have seen it coming, I should have tried harder to understand his mind.
I now know that this was impossible , I could have better been able to change lead into gold if I could have unravelled Keith’s head. It was never mine to sort out . It was his journey , one for him and him only to understand. It was much later on in my life though that this came to my thoughts and stopped me thinking these things.
So many things are out of our control and if its in the past there is nothing much we can do now to make it better if it is about our actions over a passing or a situation that followed.
Often these trips make our mind do other things and can lead to some horrible thought patterns within our own self . Be very aware of this sabotage that you are actually causing to your own body and mind and soul !
Perhaps you are feeling guilt today ? Ask yourself why ? Then decide if there is any need, could you have done it differently ? Can you fix it ? If the answer is no then you need to learn to put away the guilt suitcase and stop going on the trips. If the answer is yes however , do something about before its too late, you never know it could change someone’s life in the process, not just yours.
I hope this has helped you and maybe tomorrow you can cancel your trip ? Even if for one day ………