Suicide has been a part of my family for as long as I can remember. My brother who also happened to be my soulmate and best friend Keith , took his own life when I was just turned 21 .
March 12th 1989 was actually Red Nose Day and I will never forget the knock at the door by 2 policeman to deliver the tragic news that ripped apart our family and killed us all inside forever.
There are many people in this world and Keith was just one of the people who you quite frankly never thought would commit suicide. He was so happy go lucky and always full of fun and life. His death rocked my world and my mind and I know only too well how over the years I have always questioned as many of you will who find yourself in the same situation …..the if only and could I questions will go on forever.
Could I have done more ?
What if I had seen the signs ?
Should I have noticed ?
Over the years I have been very very lucky to have Keith at my side constantly during my readings and I know because of him I get my fair share of suicides from heaven brought in by him for many of you .
It’s like he is stood in heaven shouting ..” Come on and see my sis , shell understand ya !” And understand I really do .
There is often no definitive answers as to the whys and wherefores and more often than not it is an accumulation of issues often spanning years that one day just build into a crescendo that causes our loved ones to make that choice.
And the choice is always theirs to make. One of the comments I constantly get is how by us perhaps hoping out or leaving them alone for a short while we gave them the opportunity to make the jump … we gave them their freedom. For us however, we feel guilty being the one who left them alone, and the question then arises to what if we had stayed at home, they would still be here? In all of my years doing this work and it now spans 4 decades I have always had the same reply from spirit …..
You could have saved me that day maybe, but what about the other days ?
When someone is so determined to go through with this sometimes there is nothing we can do if we don’t know…..
My reason for writing this article was due to a mum who approached me at an event recently and asked if they go to heaven as she was told that because they took their own life they would be punished and not allowed in ! I know in some religious faiths this is thought to be the case but I can hand on heart 100% assure you this is NOT the case.
My brother has been my guide and Guardian Angel for nearly 30 years . A role he takes extremely seriously and no way would he be granted this if he was being ‘Punished”. It doesn’t matter how someone crosses over….they all get to heaven and now punishment is given out because of how they died, even if it was their choice. Heaven is there for everyone and everyone can come through to talk to us if they have chosen to end their lives of their own accord.
It is becoming sadly so much more of an occurrence and it seems week after week I get more and more suicides through during my events and private reading sessions……why ?
Life is hard….harder than it has ever been . My childhood was so very different to those of kids these days. So much pressure is on us all to be better, more attractive, more likes , more followers than ever before. I see this in my daughters and they are only 11 and 13 ! It is scary and often in our household we have a no social media or internet weekend for this every reason. Just to simply let them be kids ….
I found these very interesting myths on the Samaritans website and wanted to share them with you ….
Myth: You have to be mentally ill to think about suicide.
Fact: Most people have thought of suicide from time to time and not all people who die by suicide have mental health problems at the time of death. However, many people who kill themselves do suffer with their mental health, typically to a serious degree. Sometimes it’s known about before the person’s death and sometimes not.
Myth: People who talk about suicide aren’t serious and won’t go through with it.
Fact: People who kill themselves have often told someone that they do not feel life is worth living or that they have no future. Some may have actually said they want to die. While it’s possible that someone might talk about suicide as a way of getting the attention they need, it’s vitally important to take anybody who talks about feeling suicidal seriously.
The majority of people who feel suicidal do not actually want to die; they do not want to live the life they have.
Myth: Once a person has made a serious suicide attempt, that person is unlikely to make another.
Fact: People who have tried to end their lives before are significantly more likely to eventually die by suicide than the rest of the population.
Myth: If a person is serious about killing themselves then there is nothing you can do.
Fact: Often, feeling actively suicidal is temporary, even if someone has been feeling low, anxious or struggling to cope for a long period of time. This is why getting the right kind of support at the right time is so important.
Myth: Talking about suicide is a bad idea as it may give someone the idea to try it.
Fact: Suicide can be a taboo topic in society. Often, people feeling suicidal don’t want to worry or burden anyone with how they feel and so they don’t discuss it. By asking directly about suicide you give them permission to tell you how they feel. People who have felt suicidal will often say what a huge relief it is to be able to talk about what their experiencing. Once someone starts talking they’ve got a better chance of discovering other options to suicide.
Myth: Most suicides happen in the winter months.
Fact: Suicide is more common in the spring and summer months.
Myth: People who threaten suicide are just attention seeking and shouldn’t be taken seriously.
Fact: People who threaten suicide should always be taken seriously. It may well be that they want attention in the sense of calling out for help, and giving them this attention may save their life.
Myth: People who are suicidal want to die.
Fact: The majority of people who feel suicidal do not actually want to die; they do not want to live the life they have. The distinction may seem small but is in fact very important and is why talking through other options at the right time is so vital.
About Samaritans
If you’re concerned about suicidal thoughts, you can contact us anytime. We’ll help you sort through your feelings, talk through your options and, hopefully, find a way forward.
You don’t have to give your name, and you can talk for as long as you like.
To talk to us straight away, call 116 123. Emails take a bit longer to reply to, but sometimes it helps to try and write things down first. Email [email protected].
I hope this has helped reassure you if someone in your family has been affected by suicide and just to know that they are all taken care of on the side was a huge comfort to me…
Lots of love
Paula